The original title of this post was going to be “Why I’m Not Dieting Anymore”. I had gotten to a really good place with my body and my weight. Was I fluffier than I had been a couple years ago. Absolutely. But was my life also substantially better than it was two years ago. Hell yeah.
So I was content. Maybe not 100% happy with the ol’ soul holder, but at least content enough to give myself some room to enjoy chocolate and let the dieting go to the wayside.
But then I stepped on a scale. And I had gained over 30 pounds in about 6 months. I was my highest weight – ever.
So I flipped. I was “SO TOTALLY READY TO LOSE THE WEIGHT FOR GOOD WHERE ARE THE EGG WHITES BRING ME THE PROTEIN SHAKES”!
…and then I got to work and ate 4 King’s Hawaiian rolls (which are NOT gluten free in case you were wondering).
So I sat down with myself and asked myself some hard questions. When was I going to love myself? Was it going to be when I had lost the 30 pounds I had gained? Or not until I had lost the 30 more that I wanted to shed? Was it going to be when I started going to the gym consistently? Or when I had an effortlessly fit body?
Or maybe, just maybe, could it be right now? Right in this very moment – all overweight, unhappy, XXX pounds of me?
So I made a choice – I chose to love myself right now. And here’s why.
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The painful truth? Diets absolutely, positively SUCK. I hate depriving myself of the things I love. I hate telling myself no, and feeling guilty when I “cave in”. I hate planning out all my food all the time. It’s just the worst.
When I get to the point where I hate my body, I diet. Traditionally, we don’t choose to start a hardcore diet when they are in 100% loving their body, right? So when I’m not feeling the fluff? – that’s when the full steam ahead mentality comes in. The one where I go 2 weeks without chocolate and hate my life.
But when I love myself, I live. Sometimes my love moments are a salad. Sometimes they’re a salad with croutons. And sometimes it’s just croutons. But it’s all done with love and not malice. And it’s so much more refreshing.
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Hating myself is hard.Hating myself isn’t refreshing. It’s exhausting, maddening, and counterproductive. Click To Tweet
Speaking of refreshing – hating myself isn’t refreshing. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. It’s exhausting. It’s maddening. And it’s counterproductive.
And honestly, I hate hating myself.
It makes me less productive. It makes me less confident. And it’s just downright tiring to fight my own negativity all the time. I mean, I can only tell myself that I’m ugly so many times until I actually start to believe it.
And tbh – I’m too impatient to wait for my body to reach the “ideal standard” that I used to think was worthy of love. Because I know that it’s going to take hard work to get there (which I willing to put in!) but I might as well go ahead and start practicing the self-love stuff now right?
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I like to give society the middle finger sometimes.
Society’s whole gimmick is making you feel like a pile of poo. I mean we have products that tell us our eyelashes aren’t long enough, that our stomachs are too round and bumpy. Our feet are too smelly! Our lips too thin! Heck, we even POOP wrong! (if you haven’t checked out the Squatty Potty then please do so now. I’ll wait.)
And I’m pretty tired of being told that everything about me is wrong and needs to be changed.
So the little feminist in me is hopping up on her soapbox and giving a moving speech about how I’m amazing just the way I am, right here right now. I don’t need to be fixed, changed, or modified. I don’t need your creams, pills, powders, or *magic* solutions.
I’m a badass, today, in this moment. Full stop. And that’s that.
Then she throws up her hand like that sassy emoji (the one they call a waitress), drops the mic, and goes and eats a cheeseburger and fries. With a milkshake.
Because balance is just so much better.
Related post // How to Find Balance When You Feel Overwhelmed (psst. There’s 18 different ways listed!)
My body isn’t inherently bad.
It took me a while to figure out and accept this one (and a lot of days I still don’t). But bodies – tall, short, fat, round, slim, lean, bumpy, and lumpy – are not inherently good or bad. They just are.
In fact, our bodies aren’t anything more than a beautiful way to hold our souls. And rather than criticizing and trying to change something that holds something so beautiful, why don’t we celebrate that uniqueness? Your casing is blue? Cool mine is yellow with stars on it! You’ve got a few rolls? Sweet! I’ve got some cellulite!
From stretch marks to bruises. Tattoos to surgery scars. Our bodies tell the physical stories of our souls.Bodies aren’t inherently good or bad. They are just a beautiful way to hold our souls. Click To Tweet
So friend. I’m choosing love today. Love for myself. Love for my body and all it’s overweight, rolly, stretch marked glory. Because it’s holding something pretty special – all my hopes, dreams, and passions.
And that’s definitely worth loving.
So how are you going to celebrate your body today? Let me know down below!
And until next time,