How to Fall in Love with and Marry Yourself

Welcome to the next installment in my self-love series! Not sure what series I’m talking about? Well I’m dedicating the whole month to talking about self-love, why it’s da bomb, and how to create more of it in your life!

So last week we talked all about how to love ourselves (specifically lessons my shower taught me). So hopefully we’re all feeling the love and ready to take the next step…yeah. I’m talking marriage.

Now before you get your knickers in a wad, let me start by saying this: no, you aren’t moving too fast. It is never too early to marry yourself, girlfriend! Because you deserve a wonderful, loving, fulfilling relationship with yourself, right freaking now!

You deserve a wonderful, loving, fulfilling relationship with yourself, right freaking now! Click To Tweet

So let’s get into how we can fall madly in love with ourselves and how that love can be a beautiful marriage!

 

How To Fall Madly in Love with and Marry Yourself

1.Date Yourself…

Any good marriage starts off with a strong foundation – dating. Now  I’m not gonna lie; I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years aka before the upswing of Tinder, Bumble, and all these other dating apps (there’s now one involving Bagels? Idk. It all confuses me). But I do know (thanks to my single pringle friends) that’s it’s rough out there in the dating world.

But girl, it’s time to swipe all the way right on yourself.

It’s time to swipe all the way right on yourself! Click To Tweet

 

Stop saying there’s not enough time for you. There’s never going to be enough hours in the day to get done everything that needs to get done.

Stop saying you need to focus on your career or family or friends. There will always be something else asking for your attention.

And please, for the love of all that is good in this world, stop saying that you aren’t worth it. Because I’m telling you right now – you, all your flaws and mistakes and imperfections, are irrevocably worth loving.

So why not start with committing to love on yourself?

 

2. …And Date Yourself Well

I’m not just talking casually date yourself girl. Ain’t nobody got time for that when it comes to self-love! I really want for you to think about the things that you need and value in a relationship with someone else. For me, it’s open communication, acts of service, and quality time. And then make sure that you are giving yourself those things!

So I’m working on being open and honest with myself. If I’m anxious, I admit it. If I’m sad, I console myself. And I also make sure I’m making time for self-care which is me serving myself well and spending quality time with good ol’ me!

If you don’t know what you need, then try taking the 5 Love Languages Test. It’s usually used for couples, but just take your results and apply them to your relationship with yourself!

 

3. Write Your Vows

Now we’re getting to the good stuff – writing your vows. This is something that I first heard about from Alexis Jones in her book I Am That Girl. She talks about creating your own personal manifesto – basically a list of positive, active statements about how amazing you are and the wonderful things you are capable of. For an idea of what I’m talking about, here’s an excerpt from my own manifesto:

I am unapologetically myself

I do not shy away from challenges and new experiences, in fact I welcome them into my life

I surround myself with people that inspire me, challenge me, and grow with me

I put myself first, doing what I know needs to be done for my own wellbeing first and foremost

I bring positivity to the table as often as I can

I treat myself with kindness and forgive myself for mistakes and indiscretions

They’re basically promises I make to myself, my own personal vows. And like any vows, sometimes I’m now the best at upholding them. But they are the commitments I’ve made to myself, and that sure as hell keeps me motivated to keep working at them!

 

4. Celebrate Your Love

Basically, this is where you par-tay! This might look different for each person. Maybe you through a party for yourself – invite a few friends over to your place for some drinks and to watch cheesy romance movies. Or maybe you through yourself a legit party with balloons and streamers and champagne. Or you could just buy yourself your favorite dessert, and sit at home in your robe after a long bath. Whatever you do, just celebrate yourself in a way that makes you feel good, whole, and happy.

Looking to fall in love with yourself? Then don’t forget step number 4 on this list! Click To Tweet

 

5. Honeymoon

I know a legit honeymoon vacation isn’t a possibility for everyone, but one of the things that I have found to be the most beneficial for me is taking time to be by myself. Last year, I took a solo vacation. I went and stayed in a cabin, and just watched Netflix, took pictures, explored; and I was next level happy!

Now, I try to take a random day or two off from work every few months. I don’t always go somewhere, and sometimes I don’t do anything special. It’s just time to myself, away from all the craziness of life. I check in with myself, check in on my vows, and show myself that my marriage with me is still strong as can be.

And at the end of the day, I look in the mirror and tell myself: “I liked it, so I put a ring on it.” (You really didn’t expect to get away without a Beyonce reference, did you?!)

 

Until next time,

Liked this post? Then check out these!

What a Capsule Wardrobe Taught Me About Self Love

Why I’m Choosing to Love My Body

 

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How to Fall in Love with Yourself

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  • This is such an amazing post, Asha! I love the idea of “dating and marrying yourself”. Having a great relationship with yourself is so important for your health and also helps you have even deeper relationships with others 🙂 Can’t wait to see what’s next in your self-care series!

    Kristen | http://www.sophisticatedgal.com

    • Love that you said that having a relationship with yourself helps you love on others! It’s so so true! I don’t think we have to love ourselves before someone else can love us, but making sure that we save some room in our hearts for us makes the room with give to others that much more valuable, compassionate, and heartfelt! <3

  • Awesome post!! I like the idea of making “vows” for myself, that sounds like a great idea to implement in my life.

    I do honeymoons sometimes. Since I live at college (like 45-60 min away from home), sometimes like once a month or so I like to come home for the weekend (if I don’t have a lot of homework) and just chill at home with my family. It’s nice to get away from the dorm and play with my dogs. 😀

    I just found a new perfect self care activity for me: latch hook kits. It’s super easy to learn and right now I’m working on a mini rug of Mickey Mouse <3 It's really peaceful to do in my spare time, like whenever I need a break from HW or my blog.

    • Writing my “vows” legit changed my whole perspective on myself! I can’t recommend it enough! It at the very least starts getting you thinking.

      And latch hook kits sound cool! Is it kind of like cross stitching?

      • From what I just researched on cross stitching, latch hook kits are a bit different. Cross stitching is a form of sewing but latch hooking is like making tons of knots on a linen/rug base. It’s super easy and I learned it in 5 min from my sister, who’s done it before. There’s kits where you can do unicorns, rainbows, birds, other animals, etc. It’s really fun 🙂

        If you want to actually try this, I would recommend finding a kit with fewer colors. I found out from my sister and mom that having a kit with multiple colors makes it hard b/c you’re constantly switching colors to use all the time and sometimes the colors can look similar (ex. 3 different pinks). The Mickey Mouse kit I’m doing right now only has 5 colors so it’s really easy for me to get into a groove and do 10 knots of red, 5 knots of black, etc. Hope this helps 🙂