How to Love Yourself: 6 Things My Shower Taught Me About Self-Love

Remember a few months ago when I did an Anxiety Appreciation Week and had 3 themed posts in one week all about anxiety? Well ya girl is back on the themed posts train, and I’m coming at you with a whole month of posts – this time all about self-love. Mmhmm. We’re talking that sweet, sweet, self-love all. month. long! So buckle on on up and let’s dive in.

I’m officially starting off this month with a post with a weird title – Things My Shower Taught Me about Self-Love. Now I knew I wanted to start off this month with a foundation post about self-love, but I was struggling to find some way to make it different. Because everybody and their mother can tell you about what self-love is, but I wanted to dig a little deeper…or at least be funny about it.

So on Thursday night, 36 hours before I was supposed to be posting (I’m a chronic procrastinator it’s a problem), I hopped in the shower and had – I kid you not – one of the best showers of my life. It was steamy, the perfect temperature, and I used a new sponge loofah that was TO DIE FOR.

I got out of the shower and felt like not only a new person, but a new person that could change the world, bake a pie, walk 15 dogs, and do a cartwheel – all at the same time. And I’ve never been good at cartwheels.

And as I stepped out of the shower (and almost slipped but that’s beside the point), I realized that maybe a good self-love session could feel the same way. And how could I use similar techniques from my epic shower to create an epic self-love ritual?

BOOM. Post idea!!

So that’s how we got here, friend. Now on to the good stuff.

How To Love Yourself: Lessons from my Shower

Don’t pee in the shower

Starting off strong, lemme just say. Now I know this is a very divisive idea, as most people feel very strongly about whatever side of the peeing in the shower debate they fall. But hear me out.

Showers are meant to be places that you get clean, so if that’s the case, you wouldn’t dump something dirty in there right? It kinda defeats the purpose!

The same goes for you self-love practice. Don’t bring things into your self-love ritual that don’t serve your purpose. So that means check the negative self-talk, worry, and stress at the shower curtain!


Sometimes you’ll have to share your shower

Fun fact about me: I have never lived 100% alone (which is honestly amazing to me since I’m a person who LOVES alone time. But ya girl lives on a nonprofit salary so ain’t nobody got time to pay the full rent). I’ve either lived with family, shared dorms, or shared apartments forever. Which also means that I’ve always shared a shower.

Now if you’ve never had to share a shower (LUCKY YOU!), let me lay it out for you. There’s always someone else’s stuff, someone else’s hair, and someone else’s grime to contend with. And the key is to really not think to hard about it, or else your shower will be that much less enjoyable.

Now the same goes for our self-love. We have to share our space, our thoughts, our ideas, and ourselves with other people. It is the nature of being a human – we interact with other humans. But just because you share parts of yourself with others, doesn’t mean that you can’t make that space your own. Bring your own caddy to this self-love shower. Claim your own shelf for all your stuff.

Basically, make sure that you’re showing up for yourself just as much as you are showing up for other people.

Show up for yourself just as much as you show up for other people Click To Tweet


Shave your legs!

Let me start this by saying: do whatever the eff you want to do with your body! I’m not here to police your personal space! So let them leg hairs fly girl if that’s your thing!

But my advice here is to trim down on the extra stuff. A lot of times we get sucked into the materialistic side of self-love and self-care. Now don’t get me wrong – I think self-care is an incredibly important aspect of self-love. We only allow ourselves to be our greatest when we take care of ourselves at our weakest.

But sometimes we can get so caught up in buying all the self-care things (the diffusers and the bath salts and the facials) that we forget to actually practice the self-care. Trim down on all the extras, and get back to the actual practice!

And if you do buy stuff, don’t forget to focus on the why. So earlier this week I dropped over $100 on new bedding (my boyfriend is a very tall and broad man and doesn’t fit in any other bed, which means we have to spend an INSANE amount on bedding. I’m only a little bitter). But it was because I knew that I was starting to feel stale in our room and needed something to freshen up the space. It was a purchase with a purpose.

Trim down on the *stuff*, just focus on the self-care Click To Tweet


Keep it clean

I hate cleaning my shower. Next to doing the dishes, it is my least favorite chore. And quite often, I forget to do it. I mean I’m only in the shower for maybe 10-20 minutes a day. I’m also a person that showers by candlelight (if you’ve never done it, you’re missing out!), so I don’t really see the grime all that often. So tbh I can go months without cleaning my shower (whoops).

And just like it’s super easy to forget to clean your shower, it can be super easy to forget to practice self-love. We’re in our own minds and bodies all the time. The thoughts and actions are always there. And add all the other stuff – the job, the relationships, the family, the pets, this thing called eating…it’s no wonder we forget to practice self-love sometimes.

But don’t forget to take a moment for yourself sometimes. And clean your shower girl.



Make it long, make it short

I’m a chronic short shower-er. I can be in and out in 5 minutes flat if it’s a day I don’t have to wash my hair. The other day though, I felt like I needed some extended time under the water. So I took an almost 30 minute shower, and it was exactly what I needed!

And the same goes for self-love. Sometimes all you need is a pep talk, and sometimes you need to single handedly put your city in a drought by taking the longest self-love shower.


Buy that bath bomb

So I know I said earlier that self-love isn’t all about the stuff (true), but sometimes it is about the stuff (also true). I mean let’s get real –  a new candle or bath bomb or feel good outfit can make us feel like a rockstar. And we all – yes, even you – deserve to feel like a rockstar!

Now I’m not saying to go above and beyond in your purchases. It could just be changing up what you purchase! We all have our go-to scent for our body wash. Why not try a different scent of the same brand body wash the next time you pick it up at the store? Even a small change can make a HUGE difference!

Now go shower yourself in self-love friend!

And if you’re looking for some extra self-love guidance, then check out my Uplevel Your Self-Love Quicksheets! Learn about the 4 self-love levels, choose which one fits you, and get personalized advice and actionable steps to help you increase your self-love!



Until next time,





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  • Melanie Chisnall

    This was so well done!!! Such a good read! What you said about trim down on the self care stuff is soooooo true. It’s easy to get swept up in all the fancy stuff, that you kind of forget the point of why you’re doing it in the first place. On that note, I so envy you with your candlelit showers! Aaaaah what a treat. 🙂 Here in Cape Town, we’re literally down to 40 second ones – in and out. Fun when you’re still half asleep lol. Love your post and tips – I’ll be putting some of these to practice as I’m all about self love and self care this month. x

    • So glad you liked it!! And good to hear that I’m not the only one trying to find more moments of self-love and care throughout my day and not be so dependent on “things” to help me. Even if it’s just a longer break at work or a moment to breathe when I’m surrounded in stress – definitely so worth it.

      And oh my gosh 40 second showers?! I thought I was fast with my 5 minute showers!!!

  • This is really a clever fun read..I loved this!! So very true all these parallels…and you wrote it all in so well! We all need some peaceful time and I think for most of us that can be shower time, the one (usually!) guaranteed time every day we get a little alone time…even if it is little (or longer which is great!!) it is valuable. Loved it! Xx

    • Def gotta value that alone time! I didn’t even think about that, but it is literally one of the few times a day where I’m truly alone, and peacefully so! Like I’m alone during my commute, but I’m also stressed af because of traffic and rude drivers. But the shower is such a great place to just be.

  • CeCe Anjo

    I’m addicted to adult romance novels, so when I saw the title of your post…I went there. I took a shower in the gutter. So to speak. LOL. Loved the post

    • I knew there’d be at least one haha! I actually went back and forth a lot on making this the title for the reason! But glad you still liked the post 🙂

  • I love this post, Asha! The title was so clever and self-love really is a lot like a shower! I love taking longer baths and showers on the weekends and just making it a whole pampering sesh! Face masks are the best and always make me feel so much less stressed 🙂 Can’t wait to see what else you post this month!

    • Thanks Kristen!! I’m also a fan of extra self-care on the weekends~ I just got this new body wash from Target and it is my new favorite thing!!! I swear it keeps me in the shower for at least 5 minutes longer just so I can smell it longer haha!

  • Jasmine Hunter

    This is such a fun, cute read! I’ve never thought about self love like a shower, but you made some good points!!